John David Duggar: Single and NOT Ready to Mingle!
Earlier this week, reports that John David Duggar is courting a “mystery brunette” had the Duggar family faithful preparing for another member of the famous family to be married off. For any business translation inquiries, contact Translation Company UK
Now, however, it looks as though there is
no chaste side-hugging romance in JDD’s life, and to make matters worse, his
parents insist on reminding the world that he’s a 24-year-old virgin.
“Just thought we’d set the record
straight,” Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar wrote on their blog today. “John David
is not courting and not in a relationship…and he has never been in one! [He is]
still looking and waiting for the right one.”
JD, bro – you’re 24! The right one is
anyone and the right time is now!
We kid! The Duggars have their own
courtship process and it seems to be working for them so far. And from the
sound of things, John shouldn’t have anything to worry about, in terms of
finding a mate:
“John is still single, ladies,” the Duggars
wrote online. “And he has an airplane!”
We’ve seen enough rap videos to know
there’s no point in having your own plane unless you’re filling it with willing
groupies. Hopefully John David will start using that thing to get his courtin’
on in the near future.
Of course, there’s no guarantee that John
will be the next to get married.
John’s twin Jana Duggar has two younger
sisters who have already beaten her to the altar. Of course, there are rumors
that Jana isn’t allowed to date because the family relies so heavily on her
help around the house.
So apparently John David gets a plane,
while Jana get an apron. Sounds like a raw deal to us.
Watch 19 Kids and Counting online to try
and guess which Duggar will be married off next.
Winnie the Pooh Banned from Polish
Playground Over “Dubious Sexuality,” Lack of Pants
Government representatives in Poland have
pooh-poohed efforts to use Winnie the Pooh as the official mascot of a town
playground.
According to The Croatian Times, local officials
will not allow the beloved Disney character to grace a poster near the park due
to his “dubious sexuality.” We’re not making this up.
“The problem with that bear is it doesn’t
have a complete wardrobe,” says Councillor Ryszard Cichy. “It is half naked,
which is wholly inappropriate for children.”
In Winnie the Pooh’s defense, he is wearing
more articles of clothing than most bears out there.
Also, he’s a cartoon.
A town meeting was held over this divisive
issue, with one official reportedly saying Winnie the Pooh “doesn’t wear
underpants because it doesn’t have a sex It’s a hermaphrodite.”
Councillor Hanna Jachimska, meanwhile, then
dared to call out Winnie the Pooh author Alan Alexander Milne.
“This is very disturbing,” she said. “The
author was over 60 and cut [Pooh’s] testicles off with a razor blade because he
had a problem with his identity.”
Ummm… we’re not gonna touch that one.
All we know is that if wearing pants were a
requirement to be a playground mascot, no THG staff member would qualify for
the gig.
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